The Flight of the Monkeys

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful princess pony named Felicity. She was very angry because she had a queer name, causing most people to mistake her for the American Girl Doll. One day when she was trotting back to her home she met a cute old man named Ernest. Ernest was a bald man who had a peg leg and three teeth (aka he only seemed cute from far away). But Felicity still approached him because she was just that nice. She noticed that he was wearing ugly clothes, so she kindly offered up her personal stylist, who had made her beautiful and "princessy." Her stylist, Clinton Kelly, saw so much potential for him, and his first suggestion for Ernest was seersucker! The old man, however, outwardly denied this suggestion, even though he adored Mr. Kelly. Mr. Kelly's next suggestion was a fabulous pinstripe suit accessorized with a top hat. Ernest smiled and nodded his head in agreement.
Now Ernest was ready to take on the world and show off his polka dancing skills with the beautiful princess pony Felicity. They had just decided to go dancing on top of the Eiffel Tower when Felicity's evil twin showed up and mauled her sister with bears she had summoned from the hills. Ernest was broken hearted to lose such a dear friend as Felicity so he went out in search of her evil twin. He found her, finally, in an underground coffee house in New York City, reciting her evil, dark poetry. He charged her with his peg leg in his hand, but he didn't quite make it to her as he only had one leg to hobble on. He fell on top of an open bagel slicer, piercing his heart as he cried out, "may monkeys curse you evil princess pony!" And his voice echoed all the way to the African jungle where the monkeys sprung into action. They flew over the Atlantic Ocean (they learned to fly from their ancestors in the Wizard of Oz), grabbed the evil princess pony, and took her back to the jungle where they roasted her like a kabob. And man was she tastey. Kristin spelled "tasty" wrong. The monkeys decided to find Clinton because they were all in desperate need of a makeover after such stressful events.
They found him sipping coffee in a Paris cafe grieving over Ernest's death, mainly because the pinstripe suite was torn and bloody from the bagel cutter. Kelly spelled "suit" wrong. Whoops, my bad; anywho, one look at the monkeys and Clinton knew it was a fashion emergency! He called in Carmindy his assistant to help work some fashion magic on these frightful monkeys. She shaved them. They cried over their lost hair, but soon recovered because they realized they now had more magical powers. Like the power to summon bears (like evil princess pony). Bears traveled far and wide to find the monkeys. When they found them, the monkeys told them to maul Clinton Kelly, because they wanted to take over his styling business; so they did. And the stylish bald monkeys shared their talents with the rest of the jungle, making the world a better place.
THE END!